Raising a Farmer

Alot of work but always room for laughter

15 years and counting

on January 16, 2016

There have been years it passes by in silence.  Without a thought till a couple days later.  I try so hard not to focus on the sadness but try to focus on the happy.  The happy that you were here.  The happy that I called you, mom.  There has been years when half way through the day I will hear the date and it will hit me.  Today is that day.  Today is the day you were called home and we were not ready for you to leave.  The sharp pain that cuts your heart, the hit to the stomach, the thought that takes your breathe away is less painful but the sadness is still there.  The thoughts of what if? What it would be like to have you here today are forced from my mind.  The tea parties that are missed.  Your face in the crowd beaming at a school program is not found.  Your voice telling me to sweep my floor more isn’t heard.  The girls only weekends are not had.  Your laughter is silenced.  The sound of five grandbabies saying, “Grandma Annie!” is not heard.  But then I look at your five perfect grandchildren.  Each so different but each so much alike.  I see joy.  I see you.  I hear the laughter from their sweet voices.  I hear you.  The love they have for each other.  I feel you.  The stories they tell, you are there. You are there when they play in the flower gardens.  The excitement when they see each other, you are there.  You are always there.    IMG_7267[1]1544985_10152221220228688_1528535827_n


One response to “15 years and counting

  1. Sandy Moonen says:

    Missing that oh so sweet laughter she would let you know she was there!!! Always such a happy note in her voice—-Ah Annie you went to soon even I miss my good friend and bridesmaid after all this time. The only comfort in your passing was that I knew my mom who had passed away only 2 weeks before you would be there to greet you when you got there. I am sure heaven was not the same after you 2 arrived.

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