Raising a Farmer

Alot of work but always room for laughter

Leeks are not Fennel

on January 29, 2016

Disclaimer:  I love the Pioneer Woman!!  The ones we love the most feel the effect of our wrath.

Dear Pioneer Woman,

I blame you!  I blame you for giving me false hope that I can cook a gourmet meal that my entire family will love.  Myself, I love to eat food.  I was confident and filled with optimism as I was able to list 20 meals right off the bat my entire family would approve (well, my husband would approve)  My afternoon was filled with what felt like meaningless errands that all needed to be done:  9 stops each time lugging a baby car seat between double doors, icy parking lots and sidewalks.  The last stop was Wal-Mart.  I had a plan, I was going to try your Lemon Chicken 5 ingredients.  It looked delicious on the show.  So simple I can do that, you gave me false hope.  I had my list in hand, Everett eager to help push the cart.  Thankfully I ran into my friend in the diaper aisle and she was able to talk me off the “do I get a big box of #3 or small, Viv is almost to #4 but today she will drown in a #4, what size should I get, I have a really good coupon at Target, will I get there before I need diapers again” cliff of insanity.  Maybe it was the mild panic attack picking out mushrooms when I realized the bigger package was cheaper per oz.  As I handed mushrooms to Everett I say,”We got to get out of here!”  A few last things in the cart, apples, bananas, oh we need lemons for the Pioneer Woman recipe.  “Vivian stop eating the box.  Vivian stop chewing on the head of lettuce!  Vivian!”

On the way home I had a plan, “Everett while I put groceries away you will work on your spelling words.”  We had a plan and I blame you, Pioneer Woman.  As I proudly used my Tupperware fridge smarts so my fridge would be neatly organized.  Everett dilly dallied.  “Everett you need to be writing.  Everett start doing your work.  Everett.”  Everything was put away and now was time to cook. IMG_7367[1] I can do this.  First lets look up the recipe so I get it right.  Fennel?  Fennel!?  I bought leeks!  I was so proud that I bought leeks a vegetable I never used before and here I needed fennel.  My head screamed,  I blame you Pioneer Woman!  You have given me false hope!  I too have fallen into the illusion of children wearing crisp CLEAN white shirts coming in for a snack, lunch or supper so happy and CLEAN as they have worked all day on the ranch.  I too, have fallen into this abyss of TV illusion.  I know better.  I know better that not everything is perfect, but I have fallen into it is.  I blame you.  My chest was beginning to tighten and I knew at any moment anything would set me into a screaming banshee or a crying baby.  I was able to hold it together when I stepped on a strawberry, Vivian felt it was better on the floor.  I almost lost it when still after an hour Everett was working on his spelling words.  Thoughts of his poor teacher and how this will be the next 11 years.  Everett dilly dallying.  So I powered on and made the lemon chicken with 4 ingredients.  My sweet baby wondering aimlessly around the kitchen, she is so tired no nap today and if I put her to bed now she will be up later in the night.  I set the oven to 250 because I needed to go out and help with milking and if it was set at 350 it would be pretty crispy.  Still it wasn’t low enough as you can see.  One last, “Everett, I am up to here!”  His round blue eyes stare at me in shock.  Slow to anger, I try and remind myself but my head is screaming.  My words were too sharp with Nate as he came to the house to remind me of going outside.  Through it all, I am to stubborn to quit and I will again try your wonderful recipes.  I will try again as I will not quit on you.  I will look past the false hope you give me.  I will look beyond your perfect organized kitchen.  I will try again.  Yes Pioneer Woman, I will try again.

PS The Lemon chicken was husband approved.  It will just be that much better with the Fennel.  Note to self leeks are not fennel.  Now I have to find a recipe that uses leeks.    IMG_0131[1]


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